|Episode 8 (series 2)|
|Airdate||10 December 1989|
|Previous episode||Episode 7 (series 2)|
|Next episode||Episode 1 (series 3)|
Sicknote, Malcolm, Vaseline, Tony and Charisma are checking fire hydrants. Vaseline opens one up and soaks a nearby traffic warden with dirty water. She is not pleased and threatens to report them so Vaseline then tries to chat her up. Tate tells Josie to take charge of a drill in preparation for her Leading Firewoman exams.
Two policeman walk into the station, one of them is handcuffed to a prisoner and they have lost the key. George and Kevin cannot resist a wind up and first bring out a huge saw, before finally freeing them with bolt cutters. It turns out George still bears a grudge with the police after spending the whole of Christmas Day in a police cell.
Paul telephones Jean in a panic. Dominic, the lead in the production has injured his larynx in a fall and they now need Sicknote for the starring role. Josie takes the drill and survives, in spite of the watch's larking around. Tate is impressed. Vaseline comes home to find that Marions 1 and 3 have a surprise for him, they are going out on the town and he is babysitting. Vaseline is horrified but can't talk his way out of it. To his surprise, he enjoys it and the Marions return home to find him happily feeding Damien.
Jean goes to visit Sicknote at Charisma's house. She asks him to come back and to rejoin that production. They later meet Paul at a restaurant, where he also tries to talk Sicknote round. An appeal to his ego and his vanity eventually wins him round. Tony finds Dorothy at a party. When she won't leave, he gives her an ultimatum, them or him. Dorothy decides to leave Tony and goes to live with her dad. Hallam attends his hearing and is fined one seventh of his pay for the next thirteen weeks. Tate informs Hallam that Scouser has been arrested and charged with the attempted murder of Maddox, to which Hallam replies "About bloody right!".
Sicknote is handing out free tickets to members of the Watch for his production of The Student Prince. Vaseline declines and sends the two Marions while he babysits again, to everyone's amazement. Tony also doesn't attend and spends the night in a bar alone. During the performance of The Drinking Song, Malcolm comes up with a prank and whispers it to the rest of the watch. Once Sicknote reaches the chorus ("Drink! Drink! Drink!") again, the entire watch joins in, to his annoyance and tries in vain to shut them up.
At the next shift, Malcolm's crew are at the Surrey Docks inspecting fire hydrants. Sicknote is still talking about his performance much to the annoyance of Malcolm. Nearby, a van is backing onto a jetty and the jetty collapses and the van falls into the water. Bayleaf, George and Vaseline dive in with BA sets on. Bayleaf and George bring the driver up. However, they realise that Vaseline has not resurfaced and dive back in to find him. Tate receives a telephone call in his office. He turns around and tells Hallam that Vaseline is dead. The two Marions are devastated. Vaseline gets a full Brigade funeral, where they all agree that he made his mark, while Josie reveals that Marion 1 is pregnant much to the amusement of the watch.
Final Appearances 
- Roland 'Vaseline' Cartwright
- Marion I
- Lesley 'Charisma' Appleby (Charisma returned in Series 7)
- Dorothy Sanderson